A Christian must be a forgiving sort of person.
A Christian must also be a forgiveness-seeking sort of person.
Have you ever noticed that when Jesus mentions the issue of anger in the Sermon on the Mount, He does not say, "therefore, don't be angry"? What does he say?
"You heard it said to the Ancients, 'Do not commit murder,' and 'Whoever commits murder will be subject to judgement. But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment..." (Matt. 5:21-2).
Rather than saying, "Therefore, don't be angry" he says "Therefore, if your brother has something against you..." (Matt. 5:23-4). He goes on to discuss making friends with your enemy in the same passage.
The reason that we should seek the forgiveness of not only our Christian brother, but our enemy, is at least in part because they will have to reckon before God for their anger. God charges you, Christian, with the highest call: forgive those who have done you wrong, and seek the forgiveness of those who have something against you. You do the former because you are God's sons and daughters (that is, you are to act like your Father in heaven). You do the latter because you recognize that they stand liable to judgment for their anger against you.
How many times do we forgive our brother who sins against us again and again? Jesus says, "seventy times seven" (Matt. 18:22), or in other words, "as many times as he sins against you and seeks your forgiveness, you forgive him." Who should initiate the process of reconciliation if your brother sins against you? You should.
What if you have wronged them? You should seek their pardon if for no other reason than that they will answer to God for their own anger.
I realize this is a high call, impossibly high at times; Paul would, I think, say that this cannot be done "in the flesh" but "in the Spirit," that is, reliant upon the Holy Spirit's work in our lives. I can't be the only person who has felt justified in my own anger, especially when I have been wronged. I can't be the only person who has wronged someone else and felt like they deserved it. It is precisely in the moments of our weakness that God demonstrates the power of His gospel in our lives, and we choose to be instruments of either self glorification or God glorification.
God help us to act like His children, complete, whole, and responding to situations in His grace, reliant on His Spirit, working for His Kingdom.
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